Confidence is an elusive trait. It can seem that some people are born confident, while you yourself struggle with seemingly simple situations. You’ve all heard of faking it until you make it, but what other steps can you do to build confidence?
Unconfident people often compare themselves unfavourably to others. This is a destructive habit which is only going to lead to further unhappiness. You have lots of talents and skills that are part of what make you unique. Identify and utilise them. Stop worrying about other people. Concentrate on what is in your control: namely you!
Identify what you do well
When a bout of low confidence strikes, make a list of things that you have achieved in both the short and long term. This could be simple things that you have managed to finally take off your to-do list, or personal or professional achievements. Refer back to the list often. It will remind you of what you are good at and can feel confident about.
Confront your inner critic
Many people have an inner critic, a harsh voice that is constantly putting you down and belittling your achievements. This relentless, negative chatter rarely has anything to do with reality. So next time you hear that voice, challenge it. Ask what evidence it has for what it is saying to you. You will find that your inner critic generally does not have a leg to stand on. Replace its words with more realistic – and kinder ones.
If you always jump from one negative thought to the worst possible outcome, pause and have a reality check. The worst-case scenario rarely happens and you will never get the time or energy back that you have spent worrying about it. Keep a log of what the actual outcome was of the situation that you were convinced was going to end in disaster. In time you will find it easier to slow down, or even stop, your mind jumping from one possible situation to a full-blown disaster.
Devise a series of tasks that will challenge you and show you what you are capable of. Some people prefer to take things step by step while others prefer a huge challenge to see if they sink or swim. Work out what is right for you and go for it. It doesn’t matter if things don’t work out immediately. Identify what you can learn from the experience to help you in the future.
Coaching is a brilliant way to identify strategies that will help you build confidence. Contact me to find out how I can help. Don’t let a lack of confidence hold you back from achieving all that you are capable of.
I'm a Personal Coach who loves finding out about what makes people tick and helping them to make the changes necessary to get to where they want to go.