Why is it that it that you sometimes get in your own way and stop yourself reaching your goals? This is self-sabotage, which is when you allow negative thoughts and feelings to change your behaviour with the end result that you end up resisting positive change.
Why do people self-sabotage?
Mostly in order to protect themselves from pain, failure, or from getting hurt; but unfortunately, self-sabotage means you won’t achieve your goals as a result. Your negative self-image can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. In reality, you are holding yourself back and sabotaging your chances of success before they have even started.
Facing your limiting beliefs, can be difficult and uncomfortable and sometimes it can be hard to do it alone. This is where a skilful and supportive coach will be invaluable.
How can you stop self-sabotaging?
1. Identify your dreams
What do you really want to achieve? Is it finding a new job, improving your work-life balance, or achieving a health goal? Once you have a clear idea of where you want to go you can start to make a plan. This however, may be where your inner saboteur comes into play, so what should you do? Well first of all tune in…
2. Listen and challenge your thoughts
What is your inner saboteur saying to you? Question what it is saying and how realistic your inner-saboteur’s view of the world really is. This will help you gain a new perspective and start you being able to move away from these beliefs.
3. Create new, empowering beliefs
Once you are aware of the self-limiting beliefs your inner-saboteur is presenting, reflect upon how they have held you back. Come up with some positive, more realistic thoughts and think about how you can use them to have a positive impact on your life.
4. Make change happen
Start small and make at least one step each day towards your goal. Some days can be harder than others and you will be unlikely to make steady progress without a hiccup or two along the way. Keep your eyes on the prize and keep going. Remember any new habit can be hard to stick to, and one of the best things you can do is to practice, so it starts to feel less strange. Hopefully, one day supporting yourself will feel entirely normal and you will be able to say goodbye to the inner-saboteur for good.
5. Don’t lose motivation
Remind yourself what you stand to achieve, rather than what you stand to lose. You can’t predict the future, so what if none of your worries actually happen? Think about how wonderful it will feel when you do achieve your goal. If putting yourself out there still feels scary, why don’t you have a chat with me or another coach to see how they can help you make positive change.
I'm a Personal Coach who loves finding out about what makes people tick and helping them to make the changes necessary to get to where they want to go so they can thrive.