New research suggests that allowing children to see their parents struggle or fail to complete tasks will help them build their grit or resilience.
This makes complete sense to me. We all learn from our experiences, so watching others is up there as one of the best ways of absorbing knowledge. I would add that allowing friends, colleagues and family see us fail, and what we learn from those failures, is essential too.
What is it about failure that is so important, and what has turned it into the current buzzword that it is? Presenting failure as something positive, rather than as a weakness is a huge cultural change. Admitting to failing makes us vulnerable, and that vulnerability can be an uncomfortable place to be when you don’t know how people will react. Remind yourself that this is an inevitable part of life. Learning from mistakes, or plans that were impossible to realise, will increase your resilience. You will gain new perspectives that will be valuable for the future (even if what you learn is how not to do something!).
There are many successful people who freely admit that they would not be where they are today were it not for the lessons they learned when things failed. Having an open mind-set and being receptive to change will help you navigate the unpredictable world.
If you find it hard to acknowledge failure, keeping your head in the sand is unsustainable long-term. There comes a point where maintaining the belief that everything is just wonderful can become a huge source of stress. Only by being honest and admitting that we have failed can we become open to learning and moving on. Social media is full of ‘perfect’ lives, and it can be hard to remind yourself that you are seeing what someone wants you to see, not the full story. There are many truly inspirational stories of people who have failed, but have not been defeated; and by owning their failures they are continuing to move towards reaching their goals. These stories may also help to inspire you.
Be proud of your failures, but be ever prouder each time you learn from them as you put yourself out there again; even if it may mean risking further failure. Congratulate yourself for what you have accomplished and use your failures to help you with what you want to achieve next.
I'm a Personal Coach who loves finding out about what makes people tick and helping them to make the changes necessary to get to where they want to go so they can thrive.